This morning she had a wee facial with a neck and shoulder massage. Getting my facial was needed and wanted, and Mummy is hoping that it helps to restore her skin so that looks a bit healthier...like she used to be.
Mummy had a chat with Tricia while she was doing it, Tricia is the Beauty Therapist and she is a lovely lady. Mummy started to relax while getting the treatment and started to drift off with her thinking brain,,,Mummy didn't share what she was thinking because if she had, she would have cried, I just know I would have.
The last time Mummy had any proper massage and treatments was when you were an in-patient in The Intensive Care Unit at one of the hospitals. Mummy remembered chatting to the therapist that day, and telling her all about her brave little boy. the lady worked with a lot of boys and girls on her days off who have the extra special love gene like you have, and she understood and acknowledged how much of a fight you were putting up.
After that treatment that day, Mummy felt a bit more relaxed, and headed back up to you, she was only away for an hour and the family support workers insisted that Mummy went for some pampering. the relaxed feeling disappeared as soon as Mummy walked into your ward because a doctor met her at the door and told her that you'd had another episode while Mummy was away, a biggie, and you still weren't out the woods (he meant a resuscitation). Instantly the treatment effects reversed and Mummy started regretting going for it...IF she had been with you would it have happened? DID that happen because you were distressed that Mummy had gone for a while? WOULD Mummy have been able to stop you needing that much help if she had been with you?
Mummy didn't ever go for another treatment, even if the nurses and Family Support People, or even Daddy told her too. Not if stuff like that was going to happen while she was gone.
This is what was rolling around Mummy's head today when she was getting her neck and shoulder massage. Mummy told Tricia that she had drifted away...but she didn't say that she had drifted away to you.
Mummy came home and she was glad Daddy was on his day off, because she cried a lot. Daddy said he had been thinking about the same thing when Mummy left for her appointment.
Hopefully this will get easier each time I go. It helps that Mummy knows Tricia so well.
Something so simple, yet such a Trigger. An unexpected trigger.
Once Mummy had got herself more together, the postman came with a parcel for Daddy. But it wasn't for Daddy. It was Mummy's sculptures from 'The Midnight Orange'.
They are truly truly beautiful. Mummy held the one in her hands that has touched her heart so so much since the first time she saw it. It is called 'He brings me Butterflies'.
This piece makes me think so so much about holding you. Especially holding you in front of me and us touching noses like we used to do...when you would always try and eat Mummy's nose. It is so precious bubba, and I asked for the baby's wings to be purple...the same as the bubba necklace that mummy ordered a while ago from the same lady.
The other art piece is called 'We Were Three'.
Exactly as we were, Daddy, Mummy and You. This touched my heart when I saw this and Daddy liked it too, he bought it for Mummy. This baby also has purple wings...
Seeing these sculptures brought me so much comfort today, on a day where I felt so so wobbly and so mixed up by an unexpected trigger.
I think my boy knew that this would help his Mummy's sore heart today. Thank you Haydon. xxxxxxx
I love you Bubba, I just do xxxxxxxxx and so does Dad xxxxxxxxxx
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