"How am I". author unknown.

How are you
they always ask
but do they ever stop
to listen to the answer

Do they know how much it would mean
if for once, they would just listen
and let you talk
say everything you need to say
say everything you have been
holding in

Of course we know
we are overwhelming you
we don't mean to
we don't want to
we don't want to be overwhelmed either
but we are

And you can help us
yes it's true
I know you feel helpless
to help us in our grief
but you can help us
by asking and listening
and waiting for our response

Perhaps you can echo back
what we are saying
perhaps you can share a memory
perhaps you can say our child's name
perhaps you can let us know
that you have not forgotten them

You need to know
that giving us a chance to talk
gives us a chance to heal
although we are forever scarred
and we will never really fully heal
we cannot
but for a moment in time
we can feel something other than our grief
when we share with you
the stories in our heart
just waiting to be shared
with someone who is willing to listen
by someone who really cares
and doesn't ask
how you are
simply because it is the right thing to do

We know it is hard for you
that we make you feel uncomfortable
that you don't know what to say
that you don't want to see us cry
but what YOU don't know
is that we WILL cry
when you leave us
and you haven't asked us
how we are
because you didn't take the time 
to listen to us
to hear our stories
to share our hearts
and our memories
and our sorrow

So please, if you don't want to know
then don't ask
and please, if you don't have time to listen
don't ask
it will only hurt us more

We do our best
to listen to you
to listen about your life
and about your children
we do our best to continue to care about you
your children are still important to us
but the importance of our children
does not change
simply because our child 
has left this earth

They are still our children
always our children
forever our children
and just as you have stories to tell
just as you have stories to share
stories that make you laugh
and stories that make you smile
so do we
and we need to share them

Never underestimate 
the gift you give
when you listen to a grieving mother
it may mean the difference 
between a day clouded with grief and pain
and a day filled with a smile 
and a few moments of joy
because you stopped
and took the time to care
because you took the time
to listen

But, if you really don't want to know
how we are
please don't ask
please don't pretend to listen
or to care
we are already hurting enough
all we ask is that you treat us
the way you would want to be treated
if you were one of us

They are our children
we are their mothers
and it will always make us happy
and fill our hearts with joy
to share a part of them with you
even if it makes us cry
it helps us to heal
it fills us with joy
to say their names
and although we will remain
forever broken
you can help us
with the pieces of our life

We may not be able to put them back
as they once were
but we can rearrange them
with time and love
with the love of people, family and friends
we can make it through another day
because you took the time to care
to remember us and our child
because what we fear the most
is that you will forget them
and when we know 
you will never forget them
it gives us true peace
knowing that they were loved
that they are missed
that they live on
in not just our hearts, but yours as well......