Lost

Stumbling in the dark,
the tears fall, my heart breaks,
no sense in this world,
my soul aches. how it aches.

Trying to find a way through,
Trying to find a light for my path,
that should have been you.
Now what will we do.

Lost and frightened, trying to find my way,
trying to face another day.
Another day of wearing masks, and the sadness.
That sadness.

I'd give everything I own to have you home,
I'd give myself.
But that wasn't the choice.
There is no choice.

Stumbling round in the dark,
grabbing supportive hands on the way.
Time to face another day.
Somehow, i'll find my way.

Mummy misses you so much Haydon.
Words just don't cut it baby boy.

I told the doctors at the very start to save you, keep you going, if it came to a me or you situation.  We had no choice though.  I would have given myself for you Haydon.  I wish you didn't need to be born 10 weeks early.  what if.  what if.  all the what if's xxxx

I love you xxx Daddy loves you.
Today is a hard day for no reason at all except I miss you.  I want to hold you.  You are still my world, even though you're somewhere else.
Feel my love bubba xxx <3