Will you fly with us?

Hi bubba xxx

Mummy and Daddy are getting ready for their Holidays to Cyprus. We have packed our suitcase, and all that's left to do is last minute checks on the house and the tickets and things, and Mummy is going for a bath before her early night. Aunty Kirsty has said she may stay here and that would be company for the 'bobs' wouldn't it. The dogs are away to Aunty Paula's and then Papa's until Mummy gets home. Today has been such a busy day.
 Mummy was expecting Aunty Paula to arrive for the dogs early this morning, but she wasn't able to come until this afternoon, so Mummy took the opportunity to go to the shops for last minute things, and then headed up to see you. It has been a rushed day, but that's how it is with rushed holidays. Mummy was so busy today that she got up and moving very quickly, and that doesn't happen very often does it. Mummy cried briefly in the shower for you this morning when 'Blackbird' came on the stereo, but she pulled herself together pretty quickly because there was so much to do.

Mummy got a letter for the Kidney clinic, it was a copy of the one that the doctor got. It says on it that Mummy has been advised not to try for any more babies because it may be too much for her kidneys to cope with, and they can't say if any babies would survive because of this. It would be dangerous. So that's it bubba, we have had you and that's as close as we will ever be to having our very own child, our very own bubba. made by Mummy and Daddy. You are so precious because of that Haydon. Seeing that in writing, in black and white, made Mummy feel a bit sad, because that's it final. Mummy and Daddy can't definitely try again, even if we wanted to. That is hard news, even though we knew that from speaking with the doctors, seeing it written makes it so true and so sad.

Mummy was so busy today but she thought about you all the time, all the while being busy with other things, and then working through her list of things to take. I wanted to take pictures of you, and that meant going into your photo album. I opened up at the day you were getting weighed at the neonatal unit and you were looking right at the camera, then Mummy quickly turned the page and there was your beautiful heart gripping smile. Mummy shut the book fast and hard because the 'missing you' flooded. The tears came fast and hard. No matter where in the world I go, or how busy my day is, or how much Mummy tries to be strong for a day, you are always there, always in my mind, and when I saw your picture - that 'missing' feeling is still so sore baby, still rips me apart.

Mummy was speaking to you earlier when she was fixing your flowers with Granny, did you hear Mummy say that you were to make lots of people wear superman stuff on holiday, so Mummy will know that you are there with us. Did you hear her say to bring your friends on the Bertie Train all the way to Cyprus, visit Mummy and Daddy, that would make us happy. I wish you were with us, I wish that you were here with us instead of just in our hearts because that would be better than any holiday forever. Mummy wishes that Haydon. Mummy would trade her world in a second for another day with you, you know that baby don't you because you knew Mummy's heart best xxxxxxx I will miss coming up to see you everyday, I will miss fixing your flowers but Granny B and Granny K are both going to pop up and see you So is Aunty Paula, and Uncle Keith. I won't tell them that you won't be staying with them though, because you are coming with us.
Our first holiday abroad.

Mummy loves you and misses you in a way that she doesn't have the right words for. You are my perfect boy and you fill up my whole heart.

I love you bubba <3 I just do, for always xxxxxxxxxx