Train Trip Down Memory Lane

Train Trip Down Memory Lane

The train that came this morning,

it woke me from my dreams,

I was in the neonatal unit,

I woke with tears, and muffled screams,

I was walking to the Braid Room

with my milk pot in my hand,

I turned right and I saw Cameron,

wasn't he looking grand.

I stepped forward to the fridge,

I saw the nurses, said hello,

I turned around, walked down that aisle,

I knew just where to go.

I passed Sam there on my left,

had a brief chat with his mum,

I said hello to Oscar,

he was sleeping on his tum.

But I kept on moving forward,

because I knew where I should be,

I was there to see my baby,

and he was waiting there for me.

Right at the bottom of the room,

that's where his cot was placed,

washed my hands on the left hand side,

from here I saw his face.

I could see my Haydon,

he was smiling there at me,

he was waiting for his mummy,

he was looking straight at me,

I walked over to his cot,

amazed at his growing size,

my baby he was wide awake,

there was wisdom in his eyes,

I heard the mobile playing,

I recognised the tune,

he watched the animals spin around,

happiness in this room,

I leaned over then to kiss him,

felt his soft skin, felt his touch,

but the train came at this moment,

this dream became too much.

Because this is where I woke up,

with the aching in my heart,

I didn't know at that time,

that we would be split apart,

Didn't know my life would change,

the lovely mummies I'd befriend,

Didn't know they'd all keep their sons,

but time with mine would end.

Happy days we had there,

our days were filled with hope,

I could chat while I expressed my milk,

we'd laugh and share a joke

what I'd give now to be back there,

seated on that leather chair,

with Haydon lying on my chest,

his fingers in my hair,

But now my days are filled with sadness,

upset and despair,

wishing I could be there,

wishing I was there.

The train it woke me up,

and it dragged me from the past,

into the stark reality,

these days weren't meant to last.

So I sit here crying of him,

wishing that he was right here,

I hope that he can feel my love,

with every dripping tear.

I still fear my days without him,

but i'm trying to get by,

to live my life without him,

question why my Haydon? Why.

That neonatal place was happy,

but we couldn't wait to get away,

wanted Haydon home with us,

but in our heart's where he must stay.

Mummy misses you so much Bubba boy, she just does xxx