Hullo Bubba,
Well today Mummy and Daddy are going travelling on the bike. We have been upset about the idea of going away and leaving you, but we have asked lots of people to pop up and see your forever space while we are gone.
When Mummy and Daddy were putting their things into bags ready to go, we were crying. We were crying because you aren't with is and getting ready to go on holiday, we were crying because it felt like we had never had you with us - like we were going on just another bike trip. We were crying because we won't be up to your forever space visiting you and checking on your flowers. We were crying because this is a huge step, venturing out into the big world where people don't know or don't ask about you, where Mummy and Daddy are just them, just us, not a couple with an angel baby...we are just a couple. That is a hard thing bubba.
But we will be taking you with us. When Mummy spoke with Papa yesterday, he told me that I will be carrying you in my heart and that I only need to think about you and you are with me. But Mummy has packed some of my favourite photographs of you to take with me. Mummy would never forget about you for a second, but I need to feel you nearby. So in my mind, and in my heart you are coming with us. That's why I picked the picture of you today in your car-seat, because you are coming on this travel with us too xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This morning Mummy got up and got herself ready to collect money at Tesco for SANDS. Mummy asked you for strength this morning and you gave it to her. She was shaking so much on the bus to go there but she was determined to do it. To stand and shake a tin and collect money for others. But the day was wrong, it's next week. So Mummy will need to be brave next week again. Aunty Cheryl and Aunty Beverley will be going up with Mummy next Saturday. What a muddle Mummy's brain is at the moment, she doesn't know one day from another, and she is forgetting so much stuff.
While we were in Tesco Mummy decided to buy you sunflowers for your forever space. The machine didn't want to take Mummy's scabby crumpled £5 so that made me and Aunty Cheryl laugh. Don't you like sunflowers?lol
When we got up to your forever space Mummy was finding it hard to trim the flowers down to fit in your jar, and that made me and Aunty Cheryl laugh again because we don't think you like sunflowers......I have given you some though because they are pretty flowers, and I have taken one up to little angel Tommy. He will be one of your friends in heaven i'm sure xxxx
Mummy and Daddy will pop by to say goodbye to your space when we are leaving, but we hope that you will be coming along with us xxxx
Last night Mummy went to the church and there was a lady there giving flowers to people from their loved ones in heaven. It was really nice to see. When Mummy went for healing with Merle, she was told that her best friend John was telling her to eat more and eat better, and to stop nibbling on junk. He could see that I was eating lots of cherry tomatoes but I was to eat more than that. Some days Mummy doesn't feel hungry, but she will try to eat a bit more healthily. John told Mummy that he had 'everyone' with him, Mummy knows that means you too - so now you'll be getting to know how special John was all by yourself, and I just know that he will be showing you lots of love because he really likes babies and he is looking after all of Mummies other babies too xxxxxxxxx
Mummy and Daddy find a lot of comfort in being near the water and hills, so we will be thinking of you at all of these special places, and we will be hugging you with our hearts all the time xxxxxxxxxx
Give your hairy face lots of extra hugs because he was really sad about you yesterday Bubba, and he cried sore tears when he saw your photo as the screensaver on the computer...he misses you just as much as mummy does.
Mummy loves you with every single part of her soul bubba, she holds you in her heart all the time and imagines you being near every second of everyday. Stay near us bubba because we need you and we love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (you're much stronger than mummy or daddy could ever be)
Mummy loves you and misses you Bubba, she just does, she didn't ever need a reason xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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