Hello my beautiful little man,
Mummy wanted to pop on here and tell you about today. She was so proud that Chris was wearing your badge on his vest. He said people were asking him about it. Mummy was a bit sad knowing that people were hearing that you were an angel, but she was pleased so many people knew how brave and strong you were.
Chris ran 26 miles for you today. He got a sore knee but he walked for some of the way. When he went past Mummy and Daddy we shouted so loud at him to make him run faster and get to the end.
Mummy was crying this morning about how kind he was doing that for you. For our special baby boy that has angel wings now. Chris wants to do lots of runs so that everyone will know your name bubba xxxxxx
It was quite hard walking around the park because Mummy could see ladies who had babies in their tummies, and teensy bubba's in prams...it made Mummy think of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You would have been so proud of me though because I didn't cry. I was able to be strong and walk through (I didn't look at them very closely but at least I went Bubba..it was a special day for you xxxxx)
Last night was a hard night Bubba. Mummy and Daddy were both so sad about you. It had been such a lovely sunny day and we were talking about how it would have been so lovely to have you with us. Then Aunty Bev came over, and Mummy was showing her some photographs that she found in the livingroom of you when you were 1 day old. Mummy was crying so hard, and then Daddy did too. Aunty Bev cuddled us both and said it was ok to miss you because we love you so much.
Uncle Drew was here too and he was crying when he saw your big pictures in the livingroom. He said he felt so lucky that he had met you a few times, especially during the week that you were at home. He said he will remember that for always.
It's hard on days like that, sunny days, and times when Mummy and Daddy feel sad.
All of your family are doing their sponsored walk soon. Mummy is pleased that they are all walking so far in your honour. It is so kind of all of them.
Mummy and Daddy were a bit sad though last night because she thought everyone would be meeting at our house after the walk, we wanted to thank everyone, and show people how special they are for remembering you Haydon, but then we were told that all the family babies would be coming too. Mummy and Daddy were crying in the garden because we didn't think that we would be strong enough to do that yet. We miss you so much and still think of you in your own pram, and think of you drinking your milk, and think of changing your nappy and all the baby things that we did with you......we were feeling so sad that other babies would be arriving in their prams and that would be hard bubba, because we don't have you in our house and garden in a pram, and we still cry because we want to change your bum and wipe you down when you're messy and all the looking after your baby things. It's all sorted now though. if all your aunties and uncles and cousins want to have a cup of tea and a rest they can go to Granny's. Your Granny understood that all those babies around would make it hard for Mummy and Daddy. Noone was doing it to make us feel sad, they just need to have their babies and prams with them to help them walk a long way. Mummy and daddy will just have to see how strong we are on that day and see how well we manage to be brave for that day. xxxx
Tonight was good fun. Your cousins Lewis and Lauren were over and daddy cooked food on the BBQ. Lewis pretended to sprinkle Mummy with the watering can (he was meant to be watering Mummy's flowers) and when Mummy laughed and said that would have been so nice on a hot day, Lewis splashed me all over with all the cold water. It ended up that Mummy and Daddy and Uncle Bobe and Aunty Leeann and Lewis and Lauren were all soaking wet! It was so much fun. We started using bottles, and basins, and milk cartons and all sorts of stuff to wet each other......everyone has had to go home wearing Mummy's clothes!...even Lewis - he had to wear Mummy's shorts!
I think that is the first time that Mummy has been able to have a bigger bit of fun since you went away bubba. Mummy was thinking of you when she was sitting in her chair all wet and dripping, and I know you would have liked to have seen all that fun and laughing. You would have said eh eh eh...you would have wanted splashed too.
Aunty Sharon has planted a tree today and she has called it her Haydon Tree. That tree will grown so big Haydon and it will always make people think of you xxx
Then Aunty Cheryl found a baby blackbird and it still had downy feathers, it went to hide under the caravan at Granny's house...she has called this wee baby bird Haydon too...
Daddy has gone to bed now, and Mummy is going to go soon. But Mummy wanted to tell you first how much I love you and how much I miss you xxxx It amazes Mummy that even when she's having some fun you are still in the very front of my thinking brain, and you are always the first thing that I think about. I will always have you in my mind. I will always have you in my heart my baby boy. Mummy just wishes with every single bit of her that she could have you in her arms and hear you and smell you and touch you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am going to bed in a minute xx come upstairs and cuddle into Mummy because she really needs your cuddles baby. Mummy needs you so much and she isn't allowed to have you with her yet...so you sneak into my dreams please bubba xxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are my beautiful baby and I miss you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
mummy loves you Haydon...she just does, with every single tear that she cries for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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