Just Say I'm Sorry by Gail Fasolo

You don’t know how I feel; please don’t tell me that you do.
There’s just one way to know--have you lost a child too? “
You’ll have another child” – must I hear this every day?
Can I get another mother, too, if mine should pass away?
Don’t say it was “God’s will” – that’s not the God I know.
Would God, on purpose, break my heart, then watch as my tears flow?
You have an angel in heaven – a precious child above.
But tell me, to whom here on earth shall I give this love?
“Aren’t you better yet?” Is that what I heard you say?
No!
A part of my heart aches and I’ll always feel the pain.
You think that silence is kind, but it hurts me even more.

I want to talk about my child who has gone through death’s door.
Don’t say these things to me, although you do mean well.

They do not take my pain away; I must go through this hell.

I will get better, slow but sure – and it helps to have you near.
But a simple “I’m sorry you lost your child” is all I need to hear.

Mummy was asked today on the bus how you were bubba..........she hates that!! she hates having to say those words, tell people that you lost your fight... no wonder mummy doesn't like going out :-(

This morning was hard.  The train was a heavy one and mummy cried so hard for you.  I hope tomorrow is better, but I am going to SANDS to speak with a lady about what happened...I'm not sure how that will be...opening up and talking about everything that happened to you and how mummy felt :-( Mummy is going with Aunty Kirsty so she will look after me, and then daddy will give me a big hug when its finished because heknows mummy will be sad :-(  You're 'favourite hairy face' gives good hugs doesn't he xxxxxxx

Mummy joined a website today baby...it is full of little boys and girls who were born with that very special love gene called Downs Syndrome....some of those mummies and daddies saw their precious bubba's suffer so much too :-( mummy cried reading the strories.  thos mummies and daddies have gone through the same horrible journey that me you and daddy did together and they are all being brave and strong.  they still miss their bubba's with all of their hearts and it hurts them, but they aren't hurting quite as much about how sore their baby was....I hope one day I can feel that way.  because mummy never forgets how you were baby and what you had to go through xxxxxxxxxxxx

Mummy loves you Haydon xxxxx come visit me when I'm sleeping xx (pop in the middle like you did before you went back into hospital, so dad can get a Haydon cuddle too )

Mummy loves you bubba...she just does....for ever and ever and with every beat of my heart xxxxxxxxxxx

February 15, 2011 at 4:49am ·