daddy's birthday

I got my message at church last night bubba, thank you xx it brought me so much comfort knowing that you are there and being looked after xx
I woke up this morning not feeling too bad compared to usual. Mummy went with granny to get you some lovely flowers and we took them up.  Then on the way back out of the gates mummy saw your twinkle twinkle bear and she rescued it, had it blown away? it was very dirty so mummy has washed it and will take it back up to you when its dry.
Since that moment though bubba, mummy has felt oh so sad :-( she had been crying again.  But today it is daddy's birthday and he's trying to be strong so mummy keeps crying when in the bathroom or in the bedroom, she doesn't want daddy to feel more sad today.  Although I know that he is because he hasn't said much today and he was upset a little while ago.  We just miss you Haydon, and we wish that you could be here with us.  We lit a candle for you earlier when we were having our dinner, we wanted you near us, but it wasn't the same :-(
We were going to be brave and go out for dinner, but we couldn't.  Our hearts are heavy and sore because we miss you so much just now xxxxxx

Mummy bought daddy a card with a superman sign on the front.  I was going to get the Mr Strong one but your sign seemed better today xxxxx he liked his card x

Mummy went upstairs for a lie down earlier on and she closed her eyes and pictured you, all of you, you smiling and grabbing at my hair, and grabbing daddy's beard and making faces........there will be noone in this world that I will ever love as much as I love you Haydon.  Mummy really does have a broken heart and a big sore space in her arms and her heart.....it hurts so much not having you Haydon.

mummy is going to go just now because she doesn't want you to see her crying again and feel upset.  xxxxxxx

mummy absolutely desperately misses you Haydon, If mummy's tears could have you back then you would be here.

Mummy loves you bubba xxxxxxxxxxxx she just completely does xxxx miss u xxx