when you were lying in my arms,
I know that she was there,
she kept everybody calm,
she wrapped her wings around us,
she gently stroked your face,
she wanted us to say goodbye,
to take you from this place.
Your Mum and Dad, we let her,
we saw her lift you from my chest,
we didn't want to let you go,
but we knew that it was best.
That Angel wept beside us,
she said "I love him too",
"if this was my son, my poorly boy".
"I'd let him go now too"
I held you to my heartbeat,
music playing in your ear,
the angel said "it's time to go"
"he always will be near"
The angel wept beside us,
while she took you from my hold,
she wrapped you up in feather wings,
so you wouldn't become cold.
The angels cried beside us,
the doctors cried then too,
they knew that they would have to leave,
and take my son, take you.
The room was filled with silence,
we felt the changes in that place,
no more pain or fear or sadness,
angel glow upon your face.
You really can't describe it,
to hold your son and watch him go.
To look the angels in the eye,
A pain noone should know.
We gave you flight, and freedom,
we let you leave us here,
we couldn't see you suffer more,
and live your days in fear.
An angel wept beside us,
and sometimes she's still here,
she see's how much we miss you,
and she helps to dry our tears.
An angel weeps beside us,
she knows the breaking of our hearts,
she'll hold you close in angel wings,
until we're not apart.
Last night Mummy cried in her sleep bubba. She just wants to be with you. Some days and some nights the grip of pain from missing you is too much. The need to hold you, is too much. The days without you, are too much. Some days, Mummy just wants to leave here and be with you. This is my life now.
You live without fear or pain now, because we told you that we'd take it from you. This is a long road. There is no end to it....yet. Better that we suffer that you though, baby boy xxx
I love you with all of my heart. I just do bubba xxxx and Daddy does too xxxxxx
I was hoping I could write you a personal message but I'm not familiar with blogs and you can delete this if it bothers you. I found your blog from babyandbump. I saw your post to others about how hurtful it is to hear others worry themselves sick over a DS diagnosis. I have posted on babycenter before how a DS diagnosis is not the end of the world. I lost my son to Trisomy 18 and while I was still pregnant I screamed and cried to God to please let him have DS because then I knew he may live whereas I knew the other diagnosis he would not. I'm glad you were Haydon's Mommy because he needed all that amazing unconditional LOVE that only you knew how to provide. You lost babies before so you knew more than other Mommies with 14 children how to LOVE this child and give him a life full of strength and hope. God Bless You!!!
ReplyDeletethank you Erin xxxx please send me a message on bnb.....so kind xxx im sorry you lost your son too xxxxxx
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