(Caroline is Mummy's Cousin)
Sometimes when I am thinking of Haydon I smile to myself, about the love he gave the innocence he had, the bravery in his heart and mind, his determination within. Sometimes when I think of him I cry to myself, about the sheer pain he was in, the pain Helen and Jim felt and still feel today and forever, the child who should be here with us, his family, his mummy, daddy. Haydon has left a gaping hole in our hearts that will not be replaced, for such a young baby he was also a soldier fighting and battling as hard he could, it became too much for him in the end and he passed into the after world, he shouldn't be there he just shouldn't and it breaks my heart to know this. The pain I feel is there always and he is there in my thoughts all day and every day.i always see him in my mind as happy and smiling and this makes me smile, Haydon's life was stolen before it had begun properly, people take for granted their life and don't appreciate what they have. Haydon,Helen and Jim will miss out on a part of their life that just should be. Even when I laugh when I dance when I'm happy-Haydon's beautiful face is there for me to see in my mind to remind me life is precious, it pains me to see such loving parents taken from their true love- their boy. It hurts to know nothing I say will really help, Haydon affected us all in different ways.life is just too cruel, the people who deserve happiness get denied it, and that is not how it should be. You are in my heart and thoughts always and forever little one, i wish there was more i could do xxx
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