11 Months Since You Were Born.

11 Months Since You Were Born.

Is it really 11 months since I saw you properly for the first time?
Is it really that long since I saw you being lifted into the world
and screaming at the indignity of it.

Is it really 11 months since I became a Mummy.  Not a Mummy-to-be.  A proper Mummy.
To you.
Is it really 11 months since I forced myself out of bed after a Cesarean and walked the length of the hospital several times a day so that I could be with you as much as possible, regardless of how sore it was. because you needed me.
Is it really 11 months since Mummy and Daddy felt that parental pride, the love that goes whooosh, all for you.

Is it really 11 months since Daddy looked over the curtain to watch you arrive, when he never thought he could even cope with being in the theatre.

Is it really 11 months since I called Granny and told her you were born, you were a boy, and told her your name.
Is it really 11 months since she laughed about not being able to buy you frilly dresses.

Is it really 11 months since people called and celebrated your arrival.  "You have finally did it, you have your beautiful boy"
Is it really 11 months since you wore the smallest blue hat in the world and had a dummy half the size of your perfect little face.

Is it really 11 months since I was trapped in my bed straight after having you and crying because someone stole my purse when I was in the hospital shower.
Is it really 11 months since I was pushed along in my hospital bed at 1.30am in the morning to get a good look at my son in the neonatal unit.
Is it really 11 months since I touched your hand for the first time.

Is it really 11 months since Mummy nearly lost her life trying to save yours.
Is it really 11 months ago that Daddy slept upright in a chair for 2 nights because he didn't want to leave either of us.

Is it really 11 months since everything in our lives changed for the better.
Is it really 11 months since I cried happy tears instead of sad ones like I do now.

Is it really 11 months since I had a huge pregnancy bump and couldn't wear any of my favourite clothes.
Is it really 11 months since I was able to put my belly piercing back in and laugh that the hole hadn't closed after 6 months,

Is it really 11 months.
Is it really?

Is it really 11 months since our miracle was born.
Is it really impossible to time travel and live your lifetime all over again.
Is it really true that you had to leave.
11 months ago you arrived.
11 months ago I smelled you for the first time and knew that you were mine.
11 months ago I had hope, and the most precious gift that I wanted to keep safe forever.

11 months.  Really?
It feels like yesterday, and it feels like 10 years all at the same time.
I miss you.  11 months ago I loved you with every cell in my body, and I still do.
I just do.
I love you Bubba.  11 months ago I used to watch the board and see babies names being rubbed out at the neonatal unit, and begged the angels not to take you.  I didn't ever want to see your name being rubbed off.

11 months ago everything was different.  11 months ago I had the world in my hands, my world was you.

<3