stuck.....

I'm stuck in this place of grieving,

I walk on lonely tracks

I can't take footsteps forward

while I keep on looking back

Every where I look or touch

There's memories of you

I can't stop the tears from flowing

I miss you. hurt for you..

Daddy says your rooms a mess

but I'm left to clear it up myself

I've packed up the maternity clothes

taken your books all off your shelf

I've tidied up your apnea mat

and your neonatal clothes

but I'm surrounded by the memories,

all those things I chose

Your bouncy chair, your changing mat,

your pictures in the frames,

your swing, your nappies and your clothes,

a book on baby names

I miss you being near me,

I don't have the words to say

how I would give my life to have

you with me one more day

I'm crying so hard my baby,

its been 2 hours, It won't halt

I am trying to tidy up your room,

was losing you my fault?

I wish that I could change this

I wish you could have stayed

I wish I could have kept you near

I prayed and prayed and prayed

My heart is forever broken

My dreams went along with you

If I didn't have your Daddy,

then I know what I would do.

It isn't getting easier,

it's not true what people say

I cry for you each morning,

I fall apart each day

The clock it keeps on ticking,

the hands keep on spinning round

but it doesn't change how much I miss you

I still need you around

Most people they don't understand

how broken Mummy really is

this agony it never ends

what kind of life is this.

I can't do a lifetime of this,

no matter what folk say to me,

they don't live now feeling empty.

I will never be pain free..